Every person has the resources they need.

The method was created by American philosopher and psychotherapist Eugene Gendlin, who spent fifteen years researching the key to success in psychotherapy. His finding: successful clients pay attention to their inner felt experience, trust it and follow it. Focusing teaches exactly this.

We work with bodily sensations, which give honest and reliable feedback about ourselves. In a relaxed state we turn our attention inward and the body responds to the topic – this is the "felt sense". We accept whatever comes without judgement, and as the bodily sensation changes (the "felt shift"), so does the feeling itself.

The focuser leads; the companion follows with acceptance. The method can be learned and practised alone, so it becomes a tool for everyday life.

Richard Bandler, a mathematician and programmer, and linguist John Grinder set out to discover the secret of successful, excellent people. They modelled therapists such as Fritz Perls (Gestalt therapy), Virginia Satir (family therapy) and Milton Erickson (hypnotherapy), as well as business people, researchers and creative dreamers such as Walt Disney. From the patterns that worked they built a teachable model: NLP.

Neuro – all behaviour is based on neurological processes. Linguistic – we express our thoughts and feelings through language. Programming – with conversational and imagery techniques we can rewrite the inner beliefs that steer our behaviour.

We cannot change the past, but we can change how we relate to it – and that shapes our present too.

We are capable of far more than we believe. Limits exist only in our heads. Coaching is an exceptionally effective tool for growth: it opens up a narrowed view, so we see opportunities instead of obstacles, and challenging development points instead of problems.

I like to say that we switch into a different "mode", which with practice becomes a habit and part of everyday life. The result: an effective person at work, and a person in harmony with themselves and their surroundings in private life.

We live among people: different lives, destinies and "baggage" meet. We do not see reality but our own map of it, shaped by upbringing, family, education and beliefs. If I simply say "cat", everyone pictures something different and feels something different.

Many relationships break down because we don't hear or "see" each other. That is when an outside professional helps restart genuine communication. Mediation is a profoundly human solution: it can save years and a great deal of money – and in a divorce, especially where children are involved, enormous emotional strain. Courts should be kept for relationships that are truly beyond repair.

Couples mediation is especially relevant today. Often a little outside help is enough for partners to find each other again – or to part in peace and respect, giving each other the chance of a good new beginning.

Spiral Dynamics offers a holistic, dynamic picture of human development and evolution, helping individuals and organisations navigate the complexity of human behaviour and culture. Integral Theory brings Western psychology and Eastern wisdom traditions together into a single comprehensive map.

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"You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation," said Plato. Accelium develops individual and organisational skills through AI-powered online logic and strategy games. I am the master trainer for this method in Hungary.

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